Saturday, April 30, 2011

Reform School Breakout


  1. Tim hands were getting waxy and sticky and it was getting harder and harder to move them along the thin line. "Just a few more yards" he thought. The guys sacrifice would be worth it. There was almost 2 years worth of dental floss his and from 20 other inmates, sewn and braided into that line it just had to hold a little while longer.

  2. Lol - Is this the beginning of a bad joke?

  3. Luckily you don't have to chew porridge and the other consolation is most kids will probably knock each other's teeth out in a brawl. Not flossing was worth it.

  4. Heh... Chew some porridge. Nice! Stop me if you've heard this one: Guy breaks out of jail, runs to the roof, slings his get away rope across to the adjacent roof...

  5. No, I don't think I know it... let's hear it !

  6. Long story short he fell, was skewered by a pole w/ razor wire attached to it, and realized while he was being sewn up, that the inside was a lot better. At least they got you drunk on toilet punch first :)

  7. In other news, a freak accident took the life of one Texas boy today. We have our ace reporter Daniel Ramsey on the phone to explain this image. Daniel?

    Yes. I'm here Steve. The image you are seeing is that of Roscoe Jenkins Junior. He is the son of the well-known tractor king of Lubbock Texas. Local witnesses say that Roscoe Junior was attempting to break the local record of consecutive jumps on a trampoline fastened to a moving vehicle. Unfortunately, the route that his driver took lead directly under some low-hanging telephone wires. Roscoe Junior was close-lined one jump short of the record. I have Ms. Jessep of Odessa here with me. She witnessed the entire incident. I'll put her on the phone.


    Yes, Ms. Jessep, can you tell us what you saw?

    Well, yes, of course I can. I ain't blind. I was sittin' in front of Jim's BBQ drinkin' my lemonade like I do every afternoon and along come these hell-raisers hootin and hollerin in their pickup. I no more than said, "What in tarnation?" when I heard little Roscoe yell, "Watch this!" and then WHAM! That little prick got what he...

    Well there ya have it Steve...

    ...I ain't finished...

    ...this is Daniel Ramsey in Lubbock Texas, back to you Steve...

    ...give me that phone you little...

    Now these words from our sponsors.


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